To all the unmarrieds, single by choice and happily married. Tell me how you define love. How does intimacy manifest itself within that love? How did you know the one you married was THE ONE! Did you know that? What determines a good relationship or a bad one? Do you find times when love seems to be lacking?
There have always been ‘foxes in the vineyard’ per se that corrupt or attempt to destroy the unity within a relationship. We are all familiar with the cheaters, users, liars, players, promisers, accusers and pretty much what most people describe as “you know that’s just being a man” or “what do you expect from a woman?” How does love evolve from a wedding day of beautiful promises and bright futures to a knock down, dragged out, man- and- woman- hating divorce in mere weeks? Recently, in rag tags we see the Kardashian saga of a 72 day marriage and the world all begins to tear at the pieces of shredded vows left behind. Of course, all this wrapped up in a prenuptial bow with two successful business people who discovered business and love don’t mix.
In a ‘perfect’ world, happily ever after is eternal. In our present world, however, broken relationships occur as often as speed bumps in a parking lot. They are a temporary nuisance that slows us down but somehow we never seem to learn and continue onto the next speed bump in a parking lot of relationships where the spaces are all labeled handicapped. We have drive thru combos in relationships otherwise known as friends with benefits and a new generation that determines the definition of virginity by the type of sex they choose to have without actually ‘going all the way’. All these definitions seek to help us maintain our sense of civility or social status, but when we lay alone at night (even with someone in the bed), we know, we yearn, we hope that this will be the last lonely night and that the next day or the next date will turn our bad luck romance into happily ever after…but it doesn’t come. So we satisfy ourselves with the crumbs from the table where we believe the more beautiful, the more talented, the young and confident dine while we WAIT and clean the table. We develop a type of aromatherapy observing others who seem happy and in love while we drown in ice cream and self-gratifying methods to bide us through the long desolate days and nights as our lives continue trodding along. HELP!!!
Is there anyone out there who truly has been loved and loves the way God does? The kind of love that sees you in the morning with bad breath and hair that resembles a rat’s nest and definitely not the coiffeured hairdo we normally wear when upright, and looks at us marveling at how beautiful we are, how lucky they are that WE are there beside them.
Why is it that death or sickness is usually the impetus that propels us to show the best side of love? Why do we take love for granted until we are about to lose it? What life is left when the one or ones we love are gone? What reason is there to live for? So today, ask yourself: When was the last time you actually looked into the eyes of the one/ones you love and blessed them? When was the last time you made love with the lights on and looked for the pleasure, the joy you gave them in those precious moments? Take time today to do just that and tell me what life it brings to you.