Tonight I finished my business taxes or schedule K’s which will be attached to my personal income tax. It would have been the ordinary tax time hassle, but this year it included a loss they don’t put on a line.
Today I said goodbye to the business my beloved and i worked so hard to establish. It was his dream to finally paint, sculpt and totally leave the corporate world behind. We enjoyed a wonderful 2 1/2 years traveling around the country to comic cons and meeting interesting people, dining at interesting places and some of the usual dives, and conversation.
How do you write about a loss in your business due to the death of one so treasured? How do numbers and lines compute the life of a person so much more valuable than the paper I recorded on? His name on a line doesn’t do justice to the life he lived.
If love could be expressed in money…well, he died rich. As for the inheritance, he left behind. Well, it too can’t be recorded except on the heart of the ones he loved. There will be continual loss every year and gains but not the kind the government can tax me for. The tax is heavy though on the heart.
Going through receipts brings a flood of memories and tears. Some great memories and some sad. He was dying and I didn’t know it; suffering and willing to do so to be together and run our dream together. If I had only known, I might have spent those last months working on other things. I have no regrets. We talked, laughed, cried, argued and loved each other and as I close yet another account, another chapter, I hear him. …
“.if I died tonite, I would be a happy man!” He lived. He loved and he left an endearing legacy for me to walk in. I will always remember these very special years I was able to celebrate and see his dreams come true and remember his gift of laughter and love. Goodnight Beloved, until we meet again our love still abides.