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WHERE IS THE LOVE?

Was watching a Joyce Meyer program this morning with Beth Moore.  I remember my best friend attending her studies at church before many knew about her in Christian circles.  I went to look online and see what new  bible studies she had out and the blog I googled in on was blasting back and  forth on her scriptural accuracy (no examples were given), the audacity of having her name on her business and not her husband’s (I don’t know, does it legitimize it more to have a man’s name on a business or can he be a silent partner?), and the fact that she gave back the baby she adopted from one of her relatives after 7 years of struggling to care for him.  They accuse her of not being forthright or transparent enough with the public, seeing that she is a teacher of the Word and held doubly accountable for her teaching and preaching.  They stated she is too emotional and dynamic and alluded to reasons why as being that she had something to hide.

Perhaps after years of ministry in the church and teaching both in the professional nursing world and bible studies, I find that people feel like they have the right to inspect others whom they do not know personally.  There were a few on the above blog that did come back with the comment that it all sounded like a bunch of gossip and I agree.  Accuracy and integrity are important as a teacher, but reading someone’s book or hearing a slip of news in the media really doesn’t provide an accurate nor moral viewpoint as to a person’s character.  There are some things you can learn over time with someone and more that you can learn when you actually walk with them, pray with them, cry with them and perhaps, at times, discipline them.

I am sure Beth is used to being in the public eye by now, but perhaps others forget.  Those who serve, love, persevere in a church, family, business and find success, at times are still people.  They are daughters, sons, husbands, friends, and sometimes unfortunately, imposters.  I have facilitated a few of her studies and she is dynamic, emotional, but also passionate about her beliefs and sincere and honest.  She, as a woman, is able and eager to share with her sisters and embrace their pain as well as open herself to the vulnerability it takes to speak to others about what most of us think we can hide inside…pain.  She balances it with her love for the One, who healed her and continues to encourage and lead her and the One she holds herself accountable to, her Father and Savior.

There are always things in scripture, we can debate but the manner in which we do so should also demonstrate love and respect for God’s creations of man in His image and likeness.  It serves no good to call out possible inaccuracies in character or teaching if you have to break the same Word you are holding them accountable for.  Love is most important and yet somehow it is forgotten in the name of defending God…as if He needs defending.  We are His Witnesses and I believe we must be able to ask the difficult questions regarding truth, but we must also make sure we do not work for the adversary and condemn our own brethren.  Go in private to them first, but that would require a relationship with the person and I don’t think sitting under someone’s teaching, reading their book or going to their church can give a totally accurate picture of the person.  We also will be held accountable for every word proceeding out of our own mouths and if we concern ourselves with that, we might not have time to sit in judgement of others so eagerly.

Sharing experiences, good and bad, can be helpful to us all, but sometimes we must have the courage to find out for ourselves when opportunities arise for learning.  Many cried out in the crowd, “Crucify Him!” and they killed the innocent One who came to save them.

So I leave with a few words from Matthew 5:

9:Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called children of God.

10Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11Blessed are ye when they shall revile you, and persecute you, and speak all that is evil against you, untruly, for my sake: 12Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is very great in heaven. For so they persecuted the prophets that were before you.

Update on Mystery of Intimacy

Look under God’s Love Story for a study that helps to define how God sees the true intimate love relationship between man and woman. I will write a series after it that will begin in Genesis 1 and demonstrate how God set the pattern on how to LOVE INTIMATELY and that His Son, Yeshua, will also demonstrate and that we. as spiritual men and women, have possibly been ignorant of by following our cultural understanding of how a “marriage” should be. It is my conviction that those who have a desire to seek may find answers to the question of why those of us who claim to be spiritual are struggling as the world does with divorce, broken relationships, and unnecessary suffering.\

John 15:13: Greater LOVE has no man than this, that to lay down his life for a friend.

Woman was created to be loved, not lusted after and Men were created to be the ones to Love her. Man was created to be trusted, but women are finding that an impossible endeavor because of so many broken relationships. Women lay down their bodies hoping to find a special love from one man, however, prior experiences make it challenging for the “right” one who comes later in their lives and so women continue to lay down their hearts and rise up only to be broken again. Unfortunately, men pay a price in this too and the women they meet are not able to receive love and so the cycle continues. Who pays?

In the end, God pays. His love is not made full in this cycle of pain. Disillusioned, we either adapt to the status quo or end up lonely, alone, and ignorant to the fact that God’s desire for love was greater. He wanted more for all of us. He still does.

So join me as I take this journey of love. It is not a journey meant to point the finger at any particular gender. The enemy of both spiritual men and women is still ever present. If we keep that in mind, perhaps, we can learn to love greater than we have before. God made us physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual and spiritual beings with a choice. Let us see if we are making our own choices or following the crowd of victims in the endless cycle of pain.

Define love

To all the unmarrieds, single by choice and happily married.  Tell me how you define love.  How does intimacy manifest itself within that love?  How did you know the one you married was THE ONE!  Did you know that?  What determines a good relationship or a bad one?  Do you find times when love seems to be lacking? 

There have always been ‘foxes in the vineyard’ per se that corrupt or attempt to destroy the unity within a relationship.  We are all familiar with the cheaters, users, liars, players, promisers, accusers and pretty much what most people describe as “you know that’s just being a man” or “what do you expect from a woman?”  How does love evolve from a wedding day of beautiful promises and bright futures to a knock down, dragged out, man- and- woman- hating divorce in mere weeks?  Recently, in rag tags we see the Kardashian saga of a 72 day marriage and the world all begins to tear at the pieces of shredded vows left behind.  Of course, all this wrapped up in a prenuptial bow with two successful business people who discovered business and love don’t mix. 

In a ‘perfect’ world, happily ever after is eternal.  In our present world, however, broken relationships occur as often as speed bumps in a parking lot.  They are a temporary nuisance that slows us down but somehow we never seem to learn and continue onto the next speed bump in a parking lot of relationships where the spaces are all labeled handicapped.  We have drive thru combos in relationships otherwise known as friends with benefits and a new generation that determines the definition of virginity by the type of sex they choose to have without actually ‘going all the way’.  All these definitions seek to help us maintain our sense of civility or social status, but when we lay alone at night (even with someone in the bed), we know, we yearn, we hope that this will be the last lonely night and that the next day or the next date will turn our bad luck romance into happily ever after…but it doesn’t come.  So we satisfy ourselves with the crumbs from the table where we believe the more beautiful, the more talented, the young and confident dine while we WAIT and clean the table.  We develop a type of aromatherapy observing others who seem happy and in love while we drown in ice cream and self-gratifying methods to bide us through the long desolate days and nights as our lives continue trodding along.  HELP!!!

Is there anyone out there who truly has been loved and loves the way God does?  The kind of love that sees you in the morning with bad breath and hair that resembles a rat’s nest and definitely not the coiffeured hairdo we normally wear when upright, and looks at us marveling at how beautiful we are, how lucky they are that WE are there beside them.

Why is it that death or sickness is usually the impetus that propels us to show the best side of love?  Why do we take love for granted until we are about to lose it?  What life is left when the one or ones we love are gone?  What reason is there to live for?  So today, ask yourself:  When was the last time you actually looked into the eyes of the one/ones you love and blessed them?  When was the last time you made love with the lights on and looked for the pleasure, the joy you gave them in those precious moments?  Take time today to do just that and tell me what life it brings to you.

The Challenge: Divine Intimacy

THE INTIMACY OF LOVE

 

LOVE… It seems that mankind’s unending pursuit is to find fragments of love. 

It is written about in the musings of star-crossed lovers, ill-fated for love that will burn its candle too quickly; of temporary one-night stands, or a vengeful broken-heart; songs are composed that define it as “Crazy-Love,” “First Love,” or “Endless Love,” and describe a wide spectrum of substitutions for love that encompass infatuation, passion, obsession, rejection, fascination and gratification.   It does seem that love’s definition is dependent on the experience of the one being asked to define it.  So we continue to publish books, articles and screenplays in attempts to describe it, educated men and women on TV or radio programs discuss it, we make movies trying to explain or exploit it, we distinguish special days of the year trying to force ourselves to share it…but we never truly experience the fullness of what love can be and should be between man and woman. 

Our unending pursuit should not be the rudiments of love but the fullness of love or intimacy.

If the truth be known the majority of women in this world are never truly fulfilled physically or spiritually.  In their ignorance and complacency, they have accepted the measure of mediocrity of love most men can offer them.  They have been convinced that being the object of lust is their role in the world.  In  the servitude of childbearing, cleaning and cooking, they accept the mundane existence of “taking care of their man.”  They have accepted a married life that is less romantic as years go by.  They have accepted lovemaking and sexual union that is measured in minutes instead of hours or days.  And with no one to encourage, edify or perfect them, they perpetuate through the raising of their children, both male and female, the same pathetic love relationship they have been made to accept by the cruel dominance and authority of cultural traditions.  Of course, some women would deny this is the truth for them, they would publicly proclaim that they know and experience the fullness of love from their men, but in the private moments of their consciousness, they know it is true, even for them.  Even more tragic are women who know it is true and yet feel unable to do anything about it in their relationships.

What about man?  If most men would be truthful, they would admit that they believe women are not their equal.  That woman is somehow or in some way inferior to man.  Of course, man has a great need for love but has been persuaded in his thinking that love is fulfilled primarily in the sexual union with woman. But intimate love can never be based on mutual physical gratification. Intimate love between man and woman is first and foremost a spiritual experience. Most men do not have a clue as to what fulfills or satisfies a woman because they have not themselves experienced the full measure and dimension of a true and pure love. Nor do they know how or where to obtain it. You can never give what you have never received. How many times in counseling have I heard women tell me that their men never talk to them in lovemaking or look into their eyes. Such men know little of intimacy.  Men think of love in particular moments of time when they purchase gifts or complete a checklist of chores meant to satisfy the requests of their women.  These men know little of love.  Intimacy requires not particular moments of time but every moment of time. Most men would say that is absurd, but it is essentially their selfish, self-centered attitude trying to justify preserving time for their hobbies, sports or interests which they have no desire to share with their women.  Many men would say they express their love in providing for the material needs of their women, but this is a mistake.  Material substance can never substitute forever for the intimate, romantic and spiritual needs of a woman.  On the other hand, there are men who would fulfill the need for intimate love within a woman, if they could find a woman who would receive it.

So is it hopeless?  Are men and women destined to never experience the fullness of intimate love throughout their lives?  Are we doomed to experience fragmented moments of love through our years together, but viewing only a mere shadow of what is available from our Creator? No.  There is a way.  The Creator has provided a way.  But it does require man and woman to both admit to their own inadequacies and then seek revelation to correct it.  It is possible to perfect love.  It is possible for both men and women to be completely fulfilled in their experience of love.  This book is written to help show the way to the fullness of love.  It is written to help restore Intimacy between man and woman.  Intimacy is what women yearn for, what men desperately need, and the purpose for which God created us all.