Tag Archive | loved

Did We Live Well?

I’ve had a lot to grieve lately, but also much to celebrate.  After the death of my beloved, I have no regrets and no words unsaid, only dreams we hoped to live. We lived as I must continue to live the life I still have, not just because Rick would want it that way, but because God has given me a life to live, and Rick was part of that life– the most wonderful part of it! Meeting my Creator (no, I’m not going to preach) I must remember that the life I now have is because His Son chose to offer me life and the opportunity to know my Creator as He wanted me to know him.  He continues to reveal Himself to me in so many ways.  I will post on some of those ways soon.

In life, today, we have many ways of meeting people online based on what we have in common or what we don’t have in common, and sometimes when we are just surfing the web looking  for something interesting, but we end up meeting others enduring the same trials or celebrating the same significant events in life.  I have been privileged to meet many online in the last few weeks that have inspired, touched, and encouraged me to continue to be strong.  Yesterday, I talked with my best friend and realized just how hard I’ve been on myself the last 7 weeks since Rick’s death.  I wasn’t giving myself time to heal, to grieve, to celebrate the love he gave me.

So today, I give you a quote I found on one of those inspirational quote sites,

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
-George S. Patton, Jr.

I thank God every time I remember this beloved, special, loving man in my life.  This kind of person doesn’t come along often in life.  He knew his purpose, he fulfilled it joyfully and he left when it was completed.  Now, it is up to me to demonstrate how this beloved’s life made a difference in the world, if only for me. I am  left here to finish my own tasks with the same attitude and run the race set before me, knowing those who have run the race before me stand as witnesses, encouraging me that I can do it; I can make a difference because I was created to do so.

I will not grieve as those who have no hope but live knowing he will rise again, and I will join him once again.  Until then, I live as an example of a woman who was loved, cherished, and perfected by one who laid down his life daily because he loved me as did the One who laid down His life without being asked, without expecting recognition but hoping to give something enduring in a world that seems so ready to dispose of that which is not like itself. So today remember someone, even if they are departed, that made a difference in your life and let me hear from you.  Witness of their love, spirit, and heart to others and hold on to a part of them and thereby make a difference in someone’s life.

Life is precious and temporary here, but love is enduring and always abiding in the hearts of those who make it important and love abides because we love one another.

  And because we love,  our God, who is love…..





Find Me


“Beloved,” she whispered, as the moon began its arch in the night sky. “Are you there?, Can you see me?” I still feel you here with me. I sprayed the pillow with your cologne and for a moment, I remembered and I got lost in the joy you created in me.

“Papa, find me and take me to the arms of one who loved me like no other”. “I miss him, I miss his soul, his words, his heart like the desert misses rain.” She muffles the cries so no one will hear.

This journey has been so long and so full of pain and loneliness. And yet, even as I say it, I know One took the journey long ago and still walks that lonely path today. We look as ordinary as He did and so they pass us by. No one has ears to hear the screaming inside, “Please, find me”. “Love me like He does.” I look day and night and see only fleeting glimpses of a love I can no longer embrace and it leaves not only my arms but my heart so very empty.

You knew, didn’t you? The pain of loneliness and that it was and is,..not good. So you made, mankind. And, you also, were robbed by an enemy you knew. Dreams, hopes, desires…shattered. You found a way to restore and resurrect love again but endured the agony of knowing that light would again be extinguished. How long those days must have seemed. How long the ones I walk thru also seem.

I know joy will return one morning, but grief is there every morning I do not see his face, feel his touch or hear his voice. Perhaps, his prayer is the same as mine…”find me”!

So I seek Your Face as I once did long ago and look for special gifts of love in your Word. I try to remember the joy I first felt when I met you and when you brought us together. I know there is an ember still desiring to burn in my spirit but it feels so dark. So as I curl up in this bed and pray for sleep to overtake me so that my mind can rest from its constant remembering, Receive my soul that I may break the barriers of time that hold me here. Let me see my beloved and feel his kiss, look into his eyes one more time, and then help me to run this race until it is finished.

And then, let me enter the arms of the one who proved to me that one can be a vessel of such beauty and love that it can fill the empty, dark, pain-filled places of my past and truly bring beauty from the ashes. Precious brother and beloved, come find your bride. I wait only for you and you alone.

I will live because of the life you gave me here. I will go where He calls and I will look for you everyday upon the mountain when the sun rises and when it sets and in my dreams, I will love you as you always loved me, wholeheartedly.

You taught me beloved the meaning of love by laying down your life and being so eager to fill me and express the words of love from our Father to me. You became the vessel that enabled me to hear all the love Yeshua desired to speak into me. I promised I would never leave you and so I shall fulfill that promise. And on the day you rise up first, come find me, beloved and call out my Name and I shall be one with you forever as we were promised. I will go our Father does, looking for the one lost sheep who is broken, afraid, and hurting and cradle them in His love and rejoice that He brought us together and if only once, one ordinary man loved one ordinary woman with an extraordinary love from above and it was and is and will be….VERY GOOD! xoxoxo