Tag Archive | women

Update on Mystery of Intimacy

Look under God’s Love Story for a study that helps to define how God sees the true intimate love relationship between man and woman. I will write a series after it that will begin in Genesis 1 and demonstrate how God set the pattern on how to LOVE INTIMATELY and that His Son, Yeshua, will also demonstrate and that we. as spiritual men and women, have possibly been ignorant of by following our cultural understanding of how a “marriage” should be. It is my conviction that those who have a desire to seek may find answers to the question of why those of us who claim to be spiritual are struggling as the world does with divorce, broken relationships, and unnecessary suffering.\

John 15:13: Greater LOVE has no man than this, that to lay down his life for a friend.

Woman was created to be loved, not lusted after and Men were created to be the ones to Love her. Man was created to be trusted, but women are finding that an impossible endeavor because of so many broken relationships. Women lay down their bodies hoping to find a special love from one man, however, prior experiences make it challenging for the “right” one who comes later in their lives and so women continue to lay down their hearts and rise up only to be broken again. Unfortunately, men pay a price in this too and the women they meet are not able to receive love and so the cycle continues. Who pays?

In the end, God pays. His love is not made full in this cycle of pain. Disillusioned, we either adapt to the status quo or end up lonely, alone, and ignorant to the fact that God’s desire for love was greater. He wanted more for all of us. He still does.

So join me as I take this journey of love. It is not a journey meant to point the finger at any particular gender. The enemy of both spiritual men and women is still ever present. If we keep that in mind, perhaps, we can learn to love greater than we have before. God made us physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual and spiritual beings with a choice. Let us see if we are making our own choices or following the crowd of victims in the endless cycle of pain.


So why is equality always being sought, fought for and obviously…denied?   How does one person or group end up in a position of inequality?   For there to be inequality, there must be a source of power, presumed or real, that exerts pressure on another person or group and denies privileges to those considered weaker.

The powerful have always found ways to present inequality by compromise or sheer domination of another.  We have seen it in history when women were not able to vote and men owned them and their rights to their fertility or children.  We have seen some sold into slavery in every culture when the need arose for a work force or to possess land or things perceived of value.  But the mere institution of any type of equality forces inequality on others.  If we protect the rights of the unborn then we invade the rights of women to their own body.  If we allow her to abort, we now violate the rights of the male in the relationship and higher morality.  If we attempt to elevate the less advantaged, either by color, gender, handicap, or sexual persuasion, then we are sure to impose inequality on those that are not as disadvantaged.  If we alleviate the burden on the poor, we also put burden on the rich.  Each opportunity toward equality produces inequality because each person or group seeks their own satisfaction and usually without concern for the other.

Now, is it possible to be equal to God?  It is not a question I think we ponder often.  God is God and we are His children.  This God, however, desires to offer us equality by making us His sons/daughters.  He sets the example for how He desires us to also lead our own lives.  To treat each other as equals, even though we are different genders, cultures, intellects, personalities but the only way to do so is to have the same mindset…the mind of the Anointed One.  Without Him as the foundation, equality is not possible.  Our ways are definitely not as high as His ways, but we can learn to walk with His kind of faith, compassion, and love.  He has humbled Himself to offer us an opportunity.  Yeshua has offered Himself to give us an opportunity to know what equality is like.  To be like a god, in His image and likeness.  What a privilege and what a responsibility.

If we yoke ourselves to the Father as His Son also did then we will also yoke to one another in love and equality will be perfected.  The highest form of equality is unity in Him.  He has chosen to treat us as equals, even though we are not equal.  Men and women are obvious different in strengths, temperaments, and weaknesses.  The two operating as one, as equals, are able to achieve power beyond any man has ever known.  Yeshua says we will do greater things, because He accomplished greater than any human who ever lived.  The created order establishes a connection between the One with greater power with those who have lesser power.  As long as we are connected to the source of that power, we will succeed.  The Father and Son are One but the Bride of Christ has not achieved her highest good.  The Isha, spiritual woman, is created t manifest the source of power she is connected to.  In the present age, we are limited due to perversion and distortion of the created order.  Each person has their place and they function like automatons in those roles… Men’s roles, women’s roles, Husband’s roles, Wives’ roles.  Unfortunately, these compartments boundary the creative side of the Father.  He linked them interdependently so each would need the other.  Not for one to dominate over the other or become subservient to the other.  Yeshua gave us His life that we might have more life, in abundance.  We substitute or overlay the world’s view of roles and diminish the power given to us to overcome what others find insurmountable.  Therefore, equality becomes a war that is never won.  It leaves those who call themselves spiritual in as bad a position as those who do not claim spirutality.  They fight for position, abuse power, submit and adjust to bad situations instead of adapt one to the other.  They stay together for the children and profess their love based on the years of marriage they have endured and yet somewhere inside they know their marriage is really one defined in word alone with a piece of paper that holds it together.  How sad.  How mundane.  Yet, everyday it continues and the inequality becomes more obvious.  Love is somehow lost in all this and yet love is the only cure for this disparity.  God’s love. The kind of love Yeshua demonstrated when He lay down His life. Men seem to forget they are to love as Christ loved the called out ones and He became a servant unto them.  Not fair? Definitely rare, but unfortunately so.  Men of God should look and act differently than the world.  And their women?  They are to adapt to the one who loves them…So, men..how does she look?  She adapted to you?  And if you are a spiritual woman then tell me what revelation you have received from the man you love that he received from Yeshua?  Are you receiving from him.  If so, then tell me in the intimate moments of your life, are you really receiving or only giving?  Are you only receiving, expecting him to do everything or are you also giving?

In the divinely created order, God gives and receives; His Son gives and receives and as a spiritual man receives the example and love of Yeshua, he will be able to give.  As the woman receives from the spiritual man, she will be able to give back and then God receives the glory due Him.  Think about it.  Look in the face of the One you love and tell me what you see.  Men…when is the last time you looked in her face and saw the love you give her reflected back?  How does it look?  And women, when was the last time you made love in the daylight, unafraid and unashamed, receiving all his adoration and time and thinking life couldn’t get better and almost unable to hold back the love you desire to return.  It is possible, it is Divinely created for the two of you…find it, cherish it and seek to make it beautiful.

Define love

To all the unmarrieds, single by choice and happily married.  Tell me how you define love.  How does intimacy manifest itself within that love?  How did you know the one you married was THE ONE!  Did you know that?  What determines a good relationship or a bad one?  Do you find times when love seems to be lacking? 

There have always been ‘foxes in the vineyard’ per se that corrupt or attempt to destroy the unity within a relationship.  We are all familiar with the cheaters, users, liars, players, promisers, accusers and pretty much what most people describe as “you know that’s just being a man” or “what do you expect from a woman?”  How does love evolve from a wedding day of beautiful promises and bright futures to a knock down, dragged out, man- and- woman- hating divorce in mere weeks?  Recently, in rag tags we see the Kardashian saga of a 72 day marriage and the world all begins to tear at the pieces of shredded vows left behind.  Of course, all this wrapped up in a prenuptial bow with two successful business people who discovered business and love don’t mix. 

In a ‘perfect’ world, happily ever after is eternal.  In our present world, however, broken relationships occur as often as speed bumps in a parking lot.  They are a temporary nuisance that slows us down but somehow we never seem to learn and continue onto the next speed bump in a parking lot of relationships where the spaces are all labeled handicapped.  We have drive thru combos in relationships otherwise known as friends with benefits and a new generation that determines the definition of virginity by the type of sex they choose to have without actually ‘going all the way’.  All these definitions seek to help us maintain our sense of civility or social status, but when we lay alone at night (even with someone in the bed), we know, we yearn, we hope that this will be the last lonely night and that the next day or the next date will turn our bad luck romance into happily ever after…but it doesn’t come.  So we satisfy ourselves with the crumbs from the table where we believe the more beautiful, the more talented, the young and confident dine while we WAIT and clean the table.  We develop a type of aromatherapy observing others who seem happy and in love while we drown in ice cream and self-gratifying methods to bide us through the long desolate days and nights as our lives continue trodding along.  HELP!!!

Is there anyone out there who truly has been loved and loves the way God does?  The kind of love that sees you in the morning with bad breath and hair that resembles a rat’s nest and definitely not the coiffeured hairdo we normally wear when upright, and looks at us marveling at how beautiful we are, how lucky they are that WE are there beside them.

Why is it that death or sickness is usually the impetus that propels us to show the best side of love?  Why do we take love for granted until we are about to lose it?  What life is left when the one or ones we love are gone?  What reason is there to live for?  So today, ask yourself:  When was the last time you actually looked into the eyes of the one/ones you love and blessed them?  When was the last time you made love with the lights on and looked for the pleasure, the joy you gave them in those precious moments?  Take time today to do just that and tell me what life it brings to you.

The Challenge: Divine Intimacy



LOVE… It seems that mankind’s unending pursuit is to find fragments of love. 

It is written about in the musings of star-crossed lovers, ill-fated for love that will burn its candle too quickly; of temporary one-night stands, or a vengeful broken-heart; songs are composed that define it as “Crazy-Love,” “First Love,” or “Endless Love,” and describe a wide spectrum of substitutions for love that encompass infatuation, passion, obsession, rejection, fascination and gratification.   It does seem that love’s definition is dependent on the experience of the one being asked to define it.  So we continue to publish books, articles and screenplays in attempts to describe it, educated men and women on TV or radio programs discuss it, we make movies trying to explain or exploit it, we distinguish special days of the year trying to force ourselves to share it…but we never truly experience the fullness of what love can be and should be between man and woman. 

Our unending pursuit should not be the rudiments of love but the fullness of love or intimacy.

If the truth be known the majority of women in this world are never truly fulfilled physically or spiritually.  In their ignorance and complacency, they have accepted the measure of mediocrity of love most men can offer them.  They have been convinced that being the object of lust is their role in the world.  In  the servitude of childbearing, cleaning and cooking, they accept the mundane existence of “taking care of their man.”  They have accepted a married life that is less romantic as years go by.  They have accepted lovemaking and sexual union that is measured in minutes instead of hours or days.  And with no one to encourage, edify or perfect them, they perpetuate through the raising of their children, both male and female, the same pathetic love relationship they have been made to accept by the cruel dominance and authority of cultural traditions.  Of course, some women would deny this is the truth for them, they would publicly proclaim that they know and experience the fullness of love from their men, but in the private moments of their consciousness, they know it is true, even for them.  Even more tragic are women who know it is true and yet feel unable to do anything about it in their relationships.

What about man?  If most men would be truthful, they would admit that they believe women are not their equal.  That woman is somehow or in some way inferior to man.  Of course, man has a great need for love but has been persuaded in his thinking that love is fulfilled primarily in the sexual union with woman. But intimate love can never be based on mutual physical gratification. Intimate love between man and woman is first and foremost a spiritual experience. Most men do not have a clue as to what fulfills or satisfies a woman because they have not themselves experienced the full measure and dimension of a true and pure love. Nor do they know how or where to obtain it. You can never give what you have never received. How many times in counseling have I heard women tell me that their men never talk to them in lovemaking or look into their eyes. Such men know little of intimacy.  Men think of love in particular moments of time when they purchase gifts or complete a checklist of chores meant to satisfy the requests of their women.  These men know little of love.  Intimacy requires not particular moments of time but every moment of time. Most men would say that is absurd, but it is essentially their selfish, self-centered attitude trying to justify preserving time for their hobbies, sports or interests which they have no desire to share with their women.  Many men would say they express their love in providing for the material needs of their women, but this is a mistake.  Material substance can never substitute forever for the intimate, romantic and spiritual needs of a woman.  On the other hand, there are men who would fulfill the need for intimate love within a woman, if they could find a woman who would receive it.

So is it hopeless?  Are men and women destined to never experience the fullness of intimate love throughout their lives?  Are we doomed to experience fragmented moments of love through our years together, but viewing only a mere shadow of what is available from our Creator? No.  There is a way.  The Creator has provided a way.  But it does require man and woman to both admit to their own inadequacies and then seek revelation to correct it.  It is possible to perfect love.  It is possible for both men and women to be completely fulfilled in their experience of love.  This book is written to help show the way to the fullness of love.  It is written to help restore Intimacy between man and woman.  Intimacy is what women yearn for, what men desperately need, and the purpose for which God created us all.